Do you know ALL of the circumstances surrounding the crime? Or just that he was convicted and sentenced? I would get that information from the police, and see what THEY say...then, depending on how heinous the information was, I'd simply refuse to spend any time with him.
You're right. It's a terrible crime, and you have every right to be angry, disgusted, and everything else you're feeling. But just make sure you have ALL the facts before taking a firm stand.
And if you really do like the guy...maybe ask him? Take him aside, and say that you found out about X Y and Z, and you'd like to hear his side. How he responds could be his saving grace -- or the thing that makes you grab your wife and run.
Hope this helps at least a little...
David Nick
· 3 years ago
Thanks Carol for your insight. :)
I do not know ALL the circumstances that surround the case.
Mainly the conviction/sentencing.
I know "Mack" less and less, and I am not certain he'd appreciate me pulling him off to the side, especially when my wife says "You're not supposed to know about this".
Hiding this issue under the rug is a terrible idea in my opinion, half this world's problems would be better dealt with if everyone would just lay all their cards on the table and deal with the issues head on.
We all don't work that way however. :(
I think for now I need to do some serious soul searching about how best to handle this, but I need to know who else knows and for how long.
Carol
· 3 years ago
Funny -- I woke up this morning thinking about this.
You might want to tell your wife that without having all of the facts, you have to make the firm decision to stay away from this man. The fact that nobody's being open about the "incident", for lack of a better word, makes me wonder if there wasn't a lot more to it than what you've been told thus far.
Unless you're able to make an informed decision...with all the facts...you would do well to stay away from this person, and be a little less welcoming to those who put any importance on shielding his "secret".
I could care less what adults do to each other, but when a crime involves children -- all bets are off.
Stacie
· 3 years ago
I didn't pick up whether you had children or not. I have to admit, I don't know if I would feel comfortable being around him. At the very least, I would be keeping a close eye on my children and have serious "private parts" and "you can tell mommy/daddy anything".
Next, how well do you trust your wife and her instincts? I ask because if she seems ok with this, then you may just want to tuck it into the back of your mind for a while. And in turn, your wife needs to respect your reaction.
David Nick
· 3 years ago
I don't have kids, although I have raised children before. (long story). So I understand parenting and the need to protect children. If that's what "yer" getting at.
Secondly, I have discussed this with my wife. She feels that talking to other people about this is betraying the confidence of her sister in law. (I know, that didn't make sense to me either)
So, I have not brought the topic back up with her, I will wait for a later time.
I am not alright with this whole situation. And even if my wife accepted him and chalked it up to a "that was in the past" belief, I cannot.
I want to give a person a chance, but when you have been convicted of a serious offense, how much of a shot do you have to give someone?
All Comments
Do you know ALL of the circumstances surrounding the crime? Or just that he was convicted and sentenced? I would get that information from the police, and see what THEY say...then, depending on how heinous the information was, I'd simply refuse to spend any time with him.
You're right. It's a terrible crime, and you have every right to be angry, disgusted, and everything else you're feeling. But just make sure you have ALL the facts before taking a firm stand.
And if you really do like the guy...maybe ask him? Take him aside, and say that you found out about X Y and Z, and you'd like to hear his side. How he responds could be his saving grace -- or the thing that makes you grab your wife and run.
Hope this helps at least a little...
I do not know ALL the circumstances that surround the case.
Mainly the conviction/sentencing.
I know "Mack" less and less, and I am not certain he'd appreciate me pulling him off to the side, especially when my wife says "You're not supposed to know about this".
Hiding this issue under the rug is a terrible idea in my opinion, half this world's problems would be better dealt with if everyone would just lay all their cards on the table and deal with the issues head on.
We all don't work that way however. :(
I think for now I need to do some serious soul searching about how best to handle this, but I need to know who else knows and for how long.
You might want to tell your wife that without having all of the facts, you have to make the firm decision to stay away from this man. The fact that nobody's being open about the "incident", for lack of a better word, makes me wonder if there wasn't a lot more to it than what you've been told thus far.
Unless you're able to make an informed decision...with all the facts...you would do well to stay away from this person, and be a little less welcoming to those who put any importance on shielding his "secret".
I could care less what adults do to each other, but when a crime involves children -- all bets are off.
Next, how well do you trust your wife and her instincts? I ask because if she seems ok with this, then you may just want to tuck it into the back of your mind for a while. And in turn, your wife needs to respect your reaction.
Secondly, I have discussed this with my wife. She feels that talking to other people about this is betraying the confidence of her sister in law. (I know, that didn't make sense to me either)
So, I have not brought the topic back up with her, I will wait for a later time.
I am not alright with this whole situation. And even if my wife accepted him and chalked it up to a "that was in the past" belief, I cannot.
I want to give a person a chance, but when you have been convicted of a serious offense, how much of a shot do you have to give someone?